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Archive for September, 2008

I know I’ve been quite remiss in the posting department.
Quite honestly, I just don’t have much to say.  At least nothing cheerful.
I guess, when I look back at the past couple of months through to the present day, I’ll describe myself as being in a funk.  
We moved to a great new place, and I love what it’s done for our lives and our family.  The girls have the space, privacy and independence that they need.  D [the new shortcut for Beloved] has office space now, which means his belongings and work space don’t take over the common areas.  I have some space in there, as well, which means — first and foremost — I spend less time on the computer.  It isn’t always on my lap in living room – it stays parked in the office.  I hate it when the girls hover in the office, because I feel like they’re invading my space a bit, so when they come by, I get up and go elsewhere with them.  
At the same time, the new place has drained our finances for several months now, and we’re still nowhere near done. 
When I divorced the Ex, I found myself in serious credit card debt.  Through diligence and a well-timed inheritance, I got out of that debt, completely.  Since then, I have not returned to the credit-based lifestyle, and I suppose that’s a good thing, seeing what’s going on out in the world.  But the result is that if we spend $6000 or $7000 on new furniture, it stings.  And when we have 10 rooms that need carpets and wall-hangings and closet rungs and curtains – it stings every fucking month.
It is depressing to work where I work, doing what I do and making what I make and still be struggling on a month-to-month basis.  Of course, a large part of that is the temporary situation of D’s two year school program (we’re paying tuition out-of-pocket) which is almost 1/2 way done.  Another large part is my law school loans.  Suffice it to say, those puppies aren’t going anywhere for a very long time.
And D and I have been arguing a lot, and it seems to just be one of those cyclical “since you’re grouchy with me, I’ll be grouchy with you” things, but …. pleh.  
And I’m sick of being overweight, and I’m totally convinced that I cannot possibly balance a family, household duties, a minimum billable hours requirement, an hour commute each way, 6 hours of sleep per night, and any serious chunk of time for exercise.  I just don’t know how to make that piece of the puzzle fall into place.  The rest has been very manageable, time-wise.  I’m perfectly capable of doing it all, except that I have to be a fatty while doing it.  
I probably should have just kept quiet, eh?
I promise, I spend a lot of time having many interesting thoughts on the financial crisis, the election, Sarah Palin in particular, and many other fascinating issues.  I just don’t really have the time or energy to write about them.

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Not my words (this time)

“I really need to do laundry tomorrow, or else on Tuesday, I’ll be wearing a skirt.”

Those were E’s words this evening.  I am really chuckling over it, b/c I am sure I’ve said that 1,000 times in my past.

This is her first year doing her own laundry.  So far, she’s been a real champ about it.  No complaining, remembering to clean the lint trap every time, and sharing the info with her friends without batting an eye.  I am not sure, if I hadn’t asked this evening what her laundry situation was, if she would be wearing a skirt on Tuesday or not. But that is part of the lesson that this new chore is teaching.

woo hoo!  The girls are growing up!!

(I only celebrate because on the same evening, E showed me a letter she drafted to her teacher about herself and her hopes for 7th grade, and one of the key items she thought to tell her teacher about herself outside of school was that her family has movie night every Friday, and how much she looks forward to it each week.  I’m glad we’re still the touchstone.)

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I mean, seriously. Must you ? In public, even? You cannot pull out insults reserved solely for women in this setting and expect any of your further criticisms to carry any weight. Because, quite frankly, you are behaving in a sexist manner, and the rest of your thoughts will be considered suspect. I know she was mean to Harry Reid. And of course he and his staff will be feeling defensive. But that was out of line. Call her divisive (she is), call her inexperienced (she is), call her a step backward (she is), call her sarcastic all you want. But don’t call her a bitch, don’t call her shrill, don’t call her catty. (i.e., don’t be an ass!!)
As hard as it was for me to watch, and as depressed as I continue to feel over the negative turn taken in the campaign last night and the increased chance (or so I fear) that we are going to continue to move backward come the new year, I can’t help but to be somewhat impressed with the woman. She had a lot of presence on that stage, and a lot of confidence – despite what’s been going on in the media in the past few days. That takes a real spine.
It makes me very nervous, though, that she kept her true politics to herself. I wanted her to talk about abortion, about creation, about gay marriage, about religion’s role in public life. But she did not. And that makes me feel like the country is going to be snuck up-upon, and it scares me.
Tonight I am going to leave my t.v. off. I’d rather finish my novel, and perhaps start a new one. The imbalance of this convention leaves such a bad taste in my mouth, and I don’t want to tune back in until there’s a real discourse. I know that us Dems had the same imbalance last week, and I tried to remain aware of that, while watching Obama in that stadium. I forced myself to remember that it was not the whole country that was energized, but rather just those who chose to go there, because they already agree, they already want the change he is aspiring to for this country. I am trying to remind myself of the same things this week, but I just feel …. squished.

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Bel Canto

I am reading a ton of novels again.  I feel like it’s pre-law school all over again.  I have been averaging a book a week.  I think this is not the first time I have seen that reading = no blogging. Bel Canto is the latest, and I am so loving it, I don’t want it to end.  Before that, I read Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, and before that was The Secret Scripture.

I’ve also been reading all I can about Sarah Palin.  She interests me.  Nothing to do, really, with her kids.  But lots to do with her ideology and her scary ideas.  Creationism in public schools, anti-abortion, book banning (really??  Book banning???), abstinence-only teaching (despite plentiful evidence of its failures), and on and on.  Yet I fear she’s becoming the nation’s darling, and that these scary aspects of her are being lost in the throes of the drama about her kids and their kids and their boyfriends and her brother-in-law and her husband’s DUI.  Who cares???  This woman could be PRESIDENT!!

Ugh.  Back to my novel (right after Palin speaks).

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