Archive for the ‘health’ Category

I’m  sure Beloved would “get more sex” — if he weren’t so damned tired all the time from shopping and cooking and picking up kids and cleaning that he does.


But seriously – why is it still framed in these terms?  Men “get more sex”?  What about us?  Do we “have to endure  more sex”?  Do we “give men more gifts?”  What the FUCK are we doing?  Why doesn’t it say “when couples are healthier, couples are healthier”?  (i.e., when they have a true partnership, they have a healthy sex life).

When will the sexism STOP???

Dude!  I like sex!  I have a vagina, and I like sex!!!

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Along with 90% of the rest of the people that I know, I am not feeling so well.  J was sick today, and unfortunately had to fly that way (she did well, though – they landed safe and sound).  E keeps pretending/trying to be sick, since a lot of her friends have missed 3+ days of school lately.  Colleagues have been going home early.  Beloved and I have sore throats.

The stuff going around varies – some people have fever and aches (straight flu?); some have a stomach virus; some have gross snotty congestion.

So far, I’m just a sore throat.  It does hurt.  I hate sore throats.  I have to drink a lot of water to keep it from hurting more, and it hurts to swallow, and then I end up peeing constantly, b/c of how much water I’ve drank (drunk?  drinken?)

I’m scared to see what comes next.

I already committed to working on the holiday tomorrow.  I have a lot to do, so it is for the best.  But with the girls gone and the health on a downward spiral, I’m not planning on my usual 7 a.m. arrival time.  I think 7 a.m. will be my wake up time.

Half of me wishes I hadn’t publicized my intention to be productive and available tomorrow.  It would be nicer to stay in bed for the day.  But that would just wreck the rest of the week for me, and I don’t want that on my week off from one of my many jobs.

Off to engage in some healing sleep.


It’s kind of nice to be blogging again.  Let’s see how long it lasts.  (It was also sort of nice to be missed.)

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I am really not a Scrooge.  I enjoy Christmas music.  I like the smells.  I love snow.  I love wearing sweaters, and scarves and having a red nose.

But have any of you READ this blog?

I just lost 35 fucking pounds.

I don’t need stuffing.

Or mashed potatoes

or fucking PIES.

What is up with the goddamned candy and cookies???

I am a lawyer now.

I can’t promise myself (and my fat ass) that i am going to gym EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I can only TRY.  And sometimes, I instead have to attend meetings.  Or wait for assignments.  Or sit in on conference calls. Or erase hundreds (and hundreds and hundreds of beautiful beautiful) words I had written.

Over Thanksgiving … [brace yourselves]  I gained SIX pounds.  SIX!!!

That’s a lot!!  That means I only lost 29.

Which is not 30.

It is less than 30.

and way less than 35

And it sucks.

but … guess what?

last week?

I lost it again.

Now I’m back to 35.

but I know that I’m on the very exploding verge of losing my ground, and gaining weight again.

And having a double chin again.

And that sucks.


I now hate the holidays.

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The Vegetarian Child

J decided to be a vegetarian.

This is the second time.

Last time, it lasted about a week.  Or less.

This time, she seems more committed.

I really have no right to complain, because Beloved is not only managing the situation, but doing extensive research and finding ways not only to ensure that she gets adequate nutrition, but also to empower her to make decisions (and prepare food) that give her what her body needs.

But yet, when he asked me yesterday for a dinner suggestion for today, and I said, “oh, I love those chicken roll ups you make!”  (which are chicken breasts all pounded in to thinness, and then lined with proscuittio, spinach, and some delicious cheese, and rolled up and stuck with a toothpick.  I think they also have a sauce on them.  They’re delicious.)  He said, “and what for the vegetarian?”


Do I never get to have my chicken roll ups again?

When the kids were small, and pickier eaters, I refused – REFUSED – to be the mom who made separate meals for everyone in the family.  You know, allowing the kid to have plain noodles with butter and cheese while the rest of us  ate steak and veggies.  My kids weren’t really allowed to refuse certain foods.  They had to try new things.  I think I was fair enough – I wouldn’t make a huge plate of spicy food.  I would put one new thing on the dish along with a fail safe.

but this isn’t just picky eating.  This is a different kind of decision.

This past week, Beloved made a stew – it had sweet potatoes and spinach in it, and he separately sauteed some keilbasa for E, himself, and me, and then browned some tofu for J.  Those were mixed into our individual bowls.

Another night, he made platos mexicanos –  homemade chili verde (pork slow cooked in a tomatillo sauce), but before he put the meat into the sauce, he pulled out some of the sauce, and mixed it into some baked tofu.  The rest of her meal (spanish rice, refried beans, and a funky cole slaw with limed sour cream and cilantro) was exactly like ours.

[Did I mention that he’s AMAZING.]

So, we aren’t talking about 100% separate meals.  Her food was completely integrated into ours.

But we don’t know how to do that with chicken roll ups.

I declared my willingness to have up to 3 nights/week be vegetarian (despite my love of nearly-raw meat) – that if I have advanced notice, I can plan to eat roast beef at lunch.

We shall see how this goes.  I don’t know if I look forward to the day that she sees our delicious pork tenderloins and says, “uhhhh, can I have some?”  Or if I can come to terms with this.

I am proud of her making a decision and sticking to it.

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Law School Mom started an interesting conversation at her blog – regarding contraceptives being handed out in a middle school in Maine.  She took issue with the fact that “middle school” includes kids as young as 11 years of age (and she and I both have daughters that age), and feels that for a school to be handing them birth control with no requirement of parental consent is wrong.  (I don’t want to try to summarize her opinion beyond that, because of the risks of inaccuracy – read her words at her place).

I tracked down the article – here’s NPR’s take. (I’m confused – the article says in on place that the contraceptives will be available for 7th and 8th graders with parental permission – but in another place that services are confidential and parents won’t know.  It seems that parents sign a general permission slip at the start of the year allow their kids to receive services from the health center, but won’t necessarily be informed if the kids choose to receive birth control.  I’m still not clear on whether the birth control is only available for 7th and 8th graders (typically 12 and 13 years old?), or for everyone.

I predictibly disagreed, and felt that the program was appropriate.  The bulk of what I said:

In my view, this policy is not for our kids. It’s for a kid who cannot talk to their parents. If a kid is feeling that sex is an appropriate activity at age 11, I’m sorry – but there’s a problem with that parenting already. I’m picturing a disinterest. Neglect. I’m not talking about lousy communication skills.

I don’t think the school is trying to take my place – or your place. I think they’re trying to fill gaps which are already present in families where conversations don’t happen – not about anything. The school can’t fix that. But perhaps they CAN fix the result of that? They can keep the girls in school, rather than dropping out to give birth?

According to the article, this decision didn’t come out of the blue, but rather follows a “spate of pregnancies” in the school.

In my comment, I  also joked that my 11-year old E is so NOT ready for such a thing, her reaction to being offered a contraceptive would be one of disgust and perplexitude.  (I think I made that word up.)

Which I believe is true.

I do know for a fact that this isn’t the case for everybody in her grade, though. Unfortunately.  I think they’re by far the minority, but as all the kids get older, I think they are more easily swept along by those who are more “progressed.”  Not so far along that they need birth control, though.

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Well Children

Today was the girls’ physicals.  Turns out that despite their mother’s paranoia (in various forms), they’re 100% healthy.  I had them checked for scoliosis, blood sugar abnormalities and whiplash.  They have none of those.  They’re strong and healthy.

I want their BMIs.

J is 14.9, and E is 16.5.  They are both within the healthy ranges, although the doctor said that J could easily eat ice cream on a daily basis with no health concerns.

E got shots (for next year:  Thank you, good doctor, for thinking ahead on my behalf!), but I passed on the HPV Vaccine.  It was not for moral reasons – I’m all for protecting my child from future diseases, and have no fear that I’ll be driving her into multiple beds (or cars) with my actions.  But as much as I’ve heard about the vaccine, it’s all been the moral arguments.  I have not read a single thing about the effectiveness or side effects or anything.  I am not a huge fan of new vaccines.  I am not sure that they’re safe when they’re new.

Sort of like the iPhone – I’d rather other people work all the kinks out.

I did the same thing with chicken pox.  It was a new vaccine when E was a baby, and I passed on it for the same reasons.  It was new, and not required by school districts/pre schools, and she was 2.  I passed.  She got it later, when its effective period was longer, and questions had been answered.

She’ll likely get the HPV vaccine at her next physical.

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