Archive for the ‘shoes’ Category

The snow just is not stopping. Beloved and I went to the girls’ concert at their school, and I *knew* I should have worn my heavy-duty rubberized boots. I pouted about it. I wanted to wear my new boots from my mom.


Then I looked outside again before we left (we walk, approx 1/4 mile, to the girls’ school) and it was just FLURRIES! So I wore the good boots, not the serious boots.

On the way there, I was okay. I was able to use the heel as an ice pick of sorts, and it was fine.

When I got to the school, I felt like a dork, b/c everyone else had on rubberized heavy-duty LL Bean boots.

Oh well. Mine were cool.

Then, after the concert, I had to go to the toy store to get J a “Secret Santa” gift (grrrr on my daughters!), and then to Starbucks to get me some coffee.

The way home was treacherous! The snow got really, really deep! I don’t even understand it. I wasn’t expecting this today at all. It is nice, though.

Now that I’m home, with my fancy boots drying out, and my rubberized, fur-lined ones ready to go run the next round of errands.

I watched a car spin in slow motion on my way home. Now I’m wondering if the play we were going to go to is going to happen, and if the kids will end up coming home early. Huh.

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My Snowy Vacation

The girls leave on Monday for their father’s house.  Or his mother’s, this year.

At one point, Beloved and I dreamed of going back to Amsterdam for a holiday romantic get away.

But that was back when I thought being an Associate at a big firm would make me RICH.  (Ha!)  We can’t afford a trip that costs thousands of dollars.

(Quick aside – my first student loan payment is due TODAY!  Private loans don’t kick in until April.)

So while the rest of my department is taking next week as vacation, I will be working.

But tomorrow is our Solstice celebration.  And I thought it would be nice to have a day to prepare.

So I’m home today and tomorrow.

Only I’m not preparing today.  I’m going to a 10 a.m. concert at the girls’ school, and then I’m getting J a “secret santa” gift for this afternoon, and then I’m getting the girls and two of their friends and coming home for about an hour before we grab a car and go to a play.

But spending this time with the girls was another reason for taking the days off.  Since they’re leaving soon, and that’s always a little (but honestly, just a little) sad.


It’s snowing.  I let Beloved sleep in this morning while I got up to usher the girls out the door.  This is unusual.  I’m usually leaving when E gets up, and he is the morning parent.  But he is not feeling well, and I don’t mind doing things I rarely do – so we switched it around.

There were warnings on t.v. last night about the snow/ice, but I thought not much of it.  I told the girls to wear rain boots, because the rain is melting the stacks and stacks of snow, and I don’t want them soaked.  E said, “it’s raining” at one point.  Then J later said, “it’s snowing.”  I thought of checking Boston.com to see if they were talking about weather.

There on the screen was the link to “school closings.”  Huh?  I hadn’t even considered that school would be closed!

It’s not.  Apparently, those just north of us (including southern New Hampshire) are getting dumped with snow, and are closing school.

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Yeah, so. All my complaining for naught.

Guess what my Momma got me for Christmas?

That’s right – my boots.


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Patience sucks.

I wanted boots.  Brown boots.  They had heels, they were made by Born, and they were being sold by J.Jill.  J.Jill is a company for which I have a credit card.  The card gives me a 5% discount on everything I buy – even if the things are otherwise on sale.

J.Jill also gives me birthday presents.  An extra 10% off – which can be coupled with other deals.  I knew it was coming … so I waited, and didn’t buy my boots.

My boots were $179.  Originally.

I got the birthday coupon in my e-mail.

Then I got a 15% off coupon.

So now we’re talking 30% off my boots.  That’s …. (18 plus 18 is 36, 36 plus 18 is …. uh, 54. ) So they’re now $125.

And I am getting a bonus next week, and I got paid this week, and it’s fucking slushy outside.

So I sign on to jjill.com.

Guess what?

My boots are gone.


It’s not that my size is sold out.

It’s that they’re gone.

There is no picture of them.

No nothing.


Yes, I can get them from Zappos.

But they’re $183.  And now that I almost had them for $125, I kind of don’t think that I want them anymore.

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A few updates

Likely that the house won’t take us b/c of cats.  They may, but since they want someone NOW, and we aren’t ready NOW, and we have cats … I guess they’ll take us if they don’t find someone without cats.  Even though my cats are good and clean and do not smell bad.  They are magic cats.

I was not too tired during the day.  Now I’m so tired I can barely type.  I was relatively proud of my product, and felt like feedback was positive.  And I left at 4:45 p.m. today.  (Considering I got in at 7:15 a.m., this does NOT make me a slacker!)

All in all … it was a good day.

But I broke a shoe.  I went to DSW to buy new, and found NOTHING.  nada.  zilch.  zero.

Then I went to Macy’s.

Not only did I find nothing, nada, zilch, but I was disgusted with the service and the system.  I asked someone for a shoe, and she went into the back room where I was able to hear her laughing and joking for up to 10 minutes.  Hello?  My shoe didn’t even exist, and yet, I was stuck there for a very, very long time.  If my shoe was there, I would have had to wait another 20 minutes for this very slow chatting person to make it to her turn at the cash register.

Also, they didn’t have ANY shoes.  I saw several chatty, slow shoe-fetchers come out and tell customers “no, we don’t have it.”  Time after time after time.

I wonder what is the solution?  I kind of like my small town’s ritzy boutiques.  Where there are plenty of people working, and the shoes are twice (or so) the price of the ones at Macy’s.

I don’t like the internet for shoes.  I don’t want to wait for a shoe to find out that it hits my foot in the wrong place or is too narrow where my foot is wide, and then have to return it and wait for a NEW one to come.

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I’m feeling more down today than I have in a long, long time.

The closest I ever feel to depressed is just a feeling of loneliness.  I feel intolerant, let down, and as if no one in the entire world is capable of being a true friend.

That’s how I feel today.

I have some issues going on that I can’t talk about with, really, anyone.  They’re intertwined with finances, and there are several people in my life who really don’t want to hear me whine, considering the job I landed, and others who I wouldn’t want to share these details with anyway.

I went out with a friend who went on a weird assault on my daughter … which was pretty fucking catty and hypocritical, considering how many times she’s made a point of insisting we don’t talk about our kids when we’re out together – and considering how she is clearly channeling her own kid’s jealousies and social angst through her 42 year old mouth.  Nothing she accused E of was outside the range of normal 6th grade behavior (which she conceded once the nastiness subsided) … but if I had done the same about her kid, she would have run out in tears.  I wish I had the guts to say something, to call her out on it.  Instead, I let her change the subject.

J spent an hour crying today because she had to miss her first basketball practice.  Reason being twofold:  1)  Well, I didn’t sign her up until approx 12:30 this afternoon, and so she didn’t pack the things she needed, b/c I was not sure that they would let me sign her up late; 2) it overlapped with an extended practice for something else today.  But E’s basketball practice was later in the evening (as in, we just got home), and so J was jealous, and started to cry, and that pissed me off.   I was so happy and proud that I got her signed up, and I wanted her to be happy, too.  Instead, she cried.

And of course there are work irritations, too.  But whatever.

Oh, but I think I can say that I dropped my Blackberry today.  Wanna know where?  onto the T tracks.  So as I’m scurrying to pick it up, I’m hearing the *ding ding ding* of the train’s bell, and I’m totally freaking out that I’m gonna get run over.  I had to pick up the Berry, the battery, and the back cover.  I put it all back together, but it wasn’t turning on.  So I thought it had a SIM card or something, which went up under a track.  So I’m all freaked out that I dropped my blackberry, and that I broke it, and that I’m going to have to pay for another one (which collided right up against my financial frustrations, see above), and I’m sitting on the train stressing over that, and a close friend from law school hops on the train and sits next to me.  I can’t gather my thoughts, I feel awkward and weird, and stumbly over words, and I’m just NOT HAPPY!!!!

Let’s add onto that the fact this a.m., I fell.  Yes.  That’s correct.  I just FELL.  I was going to the train, at 6:30 a.m., and a train came, and I took the first step to run and thought, “no fucking way, I’m not running” and waved the train on.   So I’m NOT rushing, that’s not why I fell.  I went to the little newspaper stand to get the free paper with the daily sudoku and crossword puzzles that I love, and my heel lands funky on a split in the pavement.  It threatens to twist my bad ankle, and my legs just gave out.  I seriously think it’s a defensive mechanism that has kicked in to protect this on-the-verge-of-snapping-into-ten-million-pieces ankle/foot of mine.  I just … FALL.  All the way onto the ground. Fortunately, my suit pants didn’t rip.  but my knee is all skinned and bruised, and I later found out that the lining of the pants DID rip.  How the fuck does that happen?  The part that hits the pavement stays intact, but the inside part rips?

And then, tonight, the event which I think sealed my mood and brought me closest to tears — I’m walking home, of course looking down at my Blackberry trying to e-mail my sister, and I jam the same fucking foot against yet another uneven spot on the sidewalk, and I feel like I’m going to BARF because it hurts so bad after this morning’s fall.  And the tears didn’t come from pain – they just came from frustration.  Why ANOTHER thing going wrong?  Why?

Yeah, so I think today sucks.

Just to prove that not everything in the world is horrible, I will end this note on 2 positives:

1.  I finally, for the first time in 2 weeks, went to the gym today.  It was good.

2.  I got word of my swearing in.  It’s on Tuesday the 27th.  It will feel so good to be admitted to practice and to have a bar number.  I’ll get to be a full fledged grown up, then.

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Shopping for kids.

I took E shopping today. She’s going to NYC for a show and a fancy-pants dinner, and she is going to a dance, and we’re going to a friend’s Bat Mitzvah.

We went to Macy’s, but the stupid store didn’t have a kids’ section.

So we went to Bloomingdales, but I was scared. I’d seen dresses for her there in the past when I went with a friend, but they were all pushing $200, and I didn’t find that to be the best use of my dollars. I pay just about that for suits for myself — not for a dress for a kid who will GROW in 1/2 a minute, and whose sister is almost as tall as her (which means I can’t look forward to it functioning as a hand me down).

She ended up finding a dress (tunic?) which was $38, plus 25% off. We got some leggings, and I said, “fine.” For NYC and her school dance, I thought it would be fine. I didn’t think it was dressy enough for the Bat Mitzvah, but we have time for that.

But then we went to another store, and I saw the world’s most gorgeous dress.

She wrinkled her nose at it. She said no.

Then she showed me this black formal dress … it had a ruffled skirt, and diamond (fake) edging. She said, “if you flip this around a little bit, it’s just like [friend she’s going to NYC with]’s dress.”


I told her there was NO WAY she could wear a tunic-like-dress and leggings if her friend was wearing something like THAT.

So I made her try on the dress I liked.

I actually made her try on both dresses I liked.

Fortunately, the $316 one was too big in the 12, and too small in the 8, and they didn’t have a 10. (I wouldn’t have bought it – I swear).

But the one I really loved was right around $100, and she looked so gorgeous in it, even she couldn’t argue with me about it. She ended up loving it, too. (I tried to take pictures, but the flash kept making it too shiny, and doesn’t do it justice – so I found this one on the internet.)


It’s in my closet now. I don’t trust their closet.

Problem is – it may be too dressy for the Bat Mitzvah, although perfect for her NY evening. And definitely too dressy for the school dance. So, while I was hoping to get her only two outfits (one for NYC which could also be used for the Bat Mitzvah services and the school dance, and a second for the Bat Mitzvah party), now I think I’ll be getting, like, 4.

I need to check with my friend (mom to the Bat Mitzvah girl) to be sure that E wouldn’t appear to be “showing up” the party girl.  I’ve seen her dress, and it’s probably on par with E’s.  Not dressier, but not more casual.  E’s perhaps looks a little less dressy, only b/c the party girl’s dress looks older.  E’s empire waist, I think, makes it a little more innocent, and a little less formal.

My other major difficulty with an 11 year old with big, wide feet: shoes.

We went into Stride Rite, where they sell Borns and other fancy-pants (to me) shoes in kiddy sizes, and the woman told me, “you really can’t shop for her here, anymore. She’s too big.”

How do I buy shoes for an 11 year old? I don’t want her to wear high heels. I refuse to allow it, actually. I also don’t want to spend $100. But if I go into the adult realm, I’m struggling to find her something that doesn’t violate both of those rules.

Oh, the hardships.

In the meantime, I got J a sweet little brown dress with white polka dots, and found 15 different choices of shoes – little brown ballet flats, regular flats, Mary Janes, you name it.

But not for E.

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The pants it is

Okay. Y’all made it clear – I need to get the pants. I shall do that.

Shoes are still complicated. The problem is the foot injury from 2002 that I perpetually complain about and fret over. I can’t wear the cool and sexy heels that are out there, because they hurt my stupid foot.

I know I should go and get the damned thing looked at. I think of some kind of Asian manipulation options … but I get scared, or tell myself it’s “fine.”

But it does affect my shoe choices.

But the clothes I buy and the look I enjoy requires heels.  Not only that, but if I wear pants, and if they fall right with heels on, they don’t fall right with flats on – so I can’t do the “shoes in my bag and sneakers on my feet” deal during the commute.  I’d be walking on my hems.  And my pants would look like shit.

So I’m looking at these, because this brand tends to work for me. The toe-part also should work for me – less coverage of the toes and top part of my foot often means pressure on my sore spots.

I wish I had good feet.

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