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Archive for the ‘whining’ Category

The Scene:  Harried working mom on her way home after a 12+ hour day, about an hour longer than she planned with.  The mom is wrought with guilt, feeling the pressure of months of a heavy work load.  She is concerned that her family is starting to get sick of it.  At the same time, said Mom is kinda tickled over her new iPhone, and is fussing with it in the backseat of the taxicab when she receives a text from her daughter:

E:  When are you coming home?

M:  I should be there by 7:30. Why?

E:  I just wanted to know.

M: Are you mad?

E:  No.

M:  Sorry that I’m running late.  It was a busy day.

E:  It’s okay.

M:  Are you sure?

E:  MOM!  I’m watching Heroes!  Stop texting me!

M:  So, here I am, feeling guilty that you’re missing me because I’m working too much, and in reality, you just want me to stay gone long enough for you to finish your television show?

E:  That about sums it up.  Now can you stop texting me?

Harumph.

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I wonder how that feels to a kid?

You’re in school, you’re at home (your primary home, at least), and everyone is talking about this political process.  Talking about what happens as it happens state-by-state, reenacting the events.  You’re getting assignments which include watching debates, researching candidates, puzzling through the delegate system.  You’re excited and eager.  You can’t wait to vote in 7 and 9 years, so that you can be involved in a more meaningful way in this exciting and interesting, engaging event.

And then you travel to see someone who is important to you, and you try to talk to them about this excitement that you have, and you ask them if perhaps you can go with them when they participate. 

And this is how they respond:  The Primaries are not Important. 

______________________________________

I told Beloved I feared such a comment (and refusal to participate and/or include the kids – despite the fact that I let the ex know what is going on at school and home around the election, and how psyched the kids are about it) would result in a nasty attitude at school, as the political process is continuously seen as important and an awesome learning experience and civics lesson. 

He told me that I’m a fool if I think that our girls are so easily swayed.  That one small comment from someone 1/2 way across the country could change their minds so quickly.

I suppose he’s right. 

But still.  I reserve the right to complain. 

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I was tempted to just post a giant post of “waaaaaaa!!  I don’t feel good!!”  But, that’s boring.  I didn’t return to the blog for that.

Beloved and I are going to see an accountant tomorrow.  We don’t really have good reason to hire someone to do our taxes this year.  Even though it’s our first year as a married couple, it’s still pretty straight forward.  But he’s never done taxes with dependents to deal with, and I want to hear a tax person say, “y’all need to buy real estate!  you need the deduction!”

It makes me feel so grown up.

Why am I 35, and just now starting to feel grown up?  With an accountant, and a 401K, and research into mortgage rates.

I should have done this 10 years ago.

I’ve had so many realizations latley, where I notice that I am in fact growing up.

I can keep track of things that used to be difficult for me (things like my keys; events at the kids’ school; other smaller responsibilities).  My brain just seems more organized.

Mature, I suppose.

So this is why people wait until they’re my age to have kids.  Because they’re actually mature, and not constantly flying by the seat of their pants.

Huh.  I wonder how that would have gone.

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There isn’t really loathing. Just fear.

Over what?  You may ask.

Beloved is leaving me!!!

What is a [well, an … incompetant spoiled brat of a] girl to do??? My husband – my support – my love [my cook] is going to a neighboring state for ELEVEN WHOLE DAYS!!! gasp!

He leaves this coming Saturday and isn’t back home until the NEXT Wednesday.

Considering that work is heating up, the house is in disarray, the girls’ lives are full as hell, and I haven’t cooked in 6 months – this is NOT a minor thing.

I will be okay:

I have friends lined up for emergencies; I’m starting a recipe list and meal plan; I have a plan to go to my mom’s for the long weekend in the middle of his absence –

I think I’ll be okay.

But I’m not certain.

I’m gonna miss my Beloved 😦

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I got my January paycheck the other day.

I was quite stunned to see a total that was up to $1100 less than I had anticipated.

It was at least $400 less than I anticipated.

My anticipation was based on last month’s check, paycheck calculators on line, and my knowledge of increased benefit costs.

I seriously brought home less than 55% of my paycheck.

Ouch.

I am not going to complain about taxes, and I’m not going to re-investigate the presidential candidates to see who will let me have more of my gross pay.

I’m just startled.

We’d made plans.  Budgets.  Savings goals.

and now that has to change.

But I know that we’re fortunate.  We’ll have no trouble paying our rent, or Beloved’s tuition, or the girls’ child care.  We’ll still shop at Whole Foods.  We’ll still have stellar health care.

I just may not own real estate in 2008.

Which is sad.

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At approximately 5 p.m., someone in my firm sent out an e-mail offering Patriots tickets for tomorrow’s game.

The Patriots are my team.

I want to watch the Patriots play football, in person.

    But when the e-mail arrived in my box, I had a moment where 1,000 thoughts flashed through my mind, as follows:

  • I have approximately 90 seconds to reply to this email.
  • Where the hell are they even playing?
  • What would Beloved think?
  • I wish E were home – it’s her I’d really want to bring
  • Isn’t it supposed to RAIN tomorrow?
  • If they’re in New York (game’s against the Giants, that much I knew), I’ll have to get a zipcar for the whole day, and maybe more – this is a lot of money – I know I (for once) actually have it, but still.
  • We were supposed to take care of J’s computer tomorrow
  • What if the seats suck?

Well.

  • They’re here, in MA
  • The seats rock
  • Beloved if upset with me (as in, disappointed – not as in mad)
  • E is mad (not disappointed) – apparently preferring to hear first-hand accounts to nothing at all
  • We really can afford it (tickets were offered at $80/each …. uh?  yeah.  we can do $160).
  • This is an amazing year – probably not to be duplicated. 
Clearly, I didn’t snatch the tickets.  Someone had them within 60 seconds … and I could have, if I didn’t hesitate.  
I wish I didn’t hesitate. 

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I have a wicked sore throat and all over achy-ness. Beloved and J were suffering from this over the past week – we let J go into school late because of it yesterday, and she put herself to bed early all week. Beloved earned “sleeping in” rights in the mornings.

And now that I have it, I’ve earned an afternoon to myself. But do I want it?

I feel kinda lonely.

But when they were all just home, I was grouchy and cranky and whiney and pouty.

So maybe they have all earned my afternoon alone.

Ha.

The girls met friends at the sledding hill, and Beloved is helping out with the pre-Christmas insanity at work.

I am blogging.

And whining.

And I think getting ready to watch some Heroes episodes on Hulu, thanks to my friend Sue.  She posted some episodes for me previously, but now, thanks to her, I have independent viewing rights, and can watch from Episode 1 of the current season.  It’s so good to see my old heroes again.  Sweeties that they are.

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