We have been struggling in our house as of late with some changes coming about in E. This pre-adolescence has been relatively calm. I am grateful for my slower developer. I am glad that I have time to get used to the attitude and the increased independence before I need to buy bras and tampons and listen to complaints about boys (or girls?). I get to ease in.
But for one area which has been painful.
The child (almost-not) eats like a freaking person obsessed. She walks in the door “I’m hungry.” She eats something and fifteen minutes later “I’m hungry” comes yet again. Her desires could be worse – she wants to eat our TJ’s High-Fructose-Corn-Syrup-Free granola bars almost non-stop; she wants salami slices; she wants cheese. We aren’t talking candy bars (although the granola bars are close, and we are phasing them out) and potato chips. Or donuts and soda. We’ve done a good job at getting her to understand nutrition and what’s important. But we do have a “fruit first” rule, and she does resist it. She also say after she has her “fruit first” she has to alternate other snacks with fruit in between. This pisses her off.
Does it really, though, have to be every 10 minutes? And if I’m exaggerating with the 10 and 15 minutes, I can easily ground the conversation in reality by saying “she wants to eat every hour, perhaps less.”
We are working to put this more in her hands. We don’t need to be developing eating issues – and part of me fears that her constant asking for food is actually coming from our up-till-now resistance more than it’s coming from hunger.
These are the ideas we have:
1) a block cheese and some triscuits, to which she has complete access after school.
2) a tub of peanut butter and a tupperware of celery sticks, to which she has complete access.
3) teach her to make rice (a favorite of hers) and allow her to make a bowl for an after-school snack.
4) find some way to STILL insist that everything be intermingled with fruit while still maintaining a responsible hands-off approach.
5) find a way to insist that she still be hungry for dinner, with the same concerns above being addressed.
6) find a way for D. and I to disengage our frustration-buttons as she continues to ask for food and ask permission for food and ask for more food and then eat more food, and then eat 3 bites of dinner before saying “I’m not hungry.”
FOOD!! Argh!!!
While J, on the other hand, maintains her vegetarian status. We had to threaten her this week with a cessation of special-cooked meals on account of her leaving the table after taking 2 or 3 bites. D. works hard to make her balanced meals that closely approximate the meaty items on our dishes, and sometimes she just wrinkles her nose and picks around the dish and walks away. It’s getting to be a little deflating for the cook in the house who works so hard to be respectful of every one’s choices. If she can just pick around the dish, then I think she can just pick around the meat and eat the non-meat. D. understands the vegetarian a bit more than I do, though, having had his own forays into that lifestyle, and is willing to just put her on notice of what may be in store. She seems to be taking the hint to heart, and being a bit more respectful in her own right of the work and consideration being put forth for her…
All the while I keep coming into work with my leftovers in hand just to find that I’ve been scheduled for yet another interview lunch and am forced to stash D’s fantastic cooking into the mini-fridge so I can partake in yet another 3 course meal designed to woo the best and the brightest to my firm; and to woo my gut into the next size of pants.
grrrrr.
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